parenting with humor

Let laughter lighten your parenting load The British writer Chesterton once wrote: “Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.” Great thinkers and sages throughout history have echoed the same sentiment in a variety of forms, and I believe this is an important key to healthy parent-child relationships (or any relationship).

Today I would like to share a poem with you, just for fun. It reminds me how important it is to remember to take life lightly and see humor in many of the potentially distressing and frustrating situations that are an integral part of the parenting experience. Parents who have gotten past the potty training stage will be able to relate, I’m sure. Is called,

“I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!” “I have to go to the bathroom!” Four little words that can send any parent into immediate action; Grab their attention to contact. I have seen sleep-seeming mothers jump to attention from prone positions when their little child uttered those four little words. Unfortunately, I wasn’t that quick to respond. Caught up in the seemingly endless excitement Of wandering store after store, Following in the wake of my mother-in-law, The Mall Queen, I guess I had grown a little numb. So in the kid changing room From store one hundred twenty one We walked in that day I guess I really didn’t pay attention When my 2 year old said “I have to pee” “Mommy I have to pee” I may have even said it twice times.

But did I hear? No, he was involved in the tedious task of finding fair the right pair of pants for my four year old ~ And so we decided to ignore it ~ In fact, none of us listened, None of us listened to his plaintive plea. Until he took matters into his own hands, My little son produced a new kind of sound ~ One that caught our attention… “What’s that sound?” my mother-in-law asked, “Sounds like water running somewhere.” In a flash of insight I knew what had happened And turned just in time to see the little boy Filling his brother’s shoe with a steady stream of liquid We were shocked, but only for an instant. Then a smile lit up my face, my mother-in-law stopped insisting, and we both started laughing. Only my four-year-old remained a bit distraught over the lesson my toddler had taught him “I guess you’ll need new shoes to go home,” his grandmother assured him, and then we were all able to laugh ~ a lot. And even today Every time those four little words Slip my way ~ I don’t take them lightly I don’t take them lightly, I sit and pay strict attention To the slightest plea from the little boy ~ In fact, I spring into action Even at the slightest mention of those four famous words, “I HAVE TO PEE!”

How many times have you thought: “One day I’ll remember this and laugh… subconsciously implying, of course, that I’ll be miserable in the meantime!” Perhaps our degree of enjoyment and ultimate success in life, our degree of enlightenment, is directly related to the time it takes us to see the humor in many of our distressing and frustrating situations.

Of course, not everything is fun, and there are times when we need to let our children know when they have crossed our limits. However, many of our parenting problems and relationship struggles with our children are the result of us, as parents, taking ourselves too seriously. The rush to potty train our child and make sure we “do it right” can put too much pressure on us and our children and prevent us from seeing the humor in situations like the one in the poem. We can get frustrated when our child doesn’t act the way we think he should and begin to think that we are inadequate as parents. It is our own frustration. that catapults the situation into one that gets out of control and damages our relationship with our son.

Even in those situations that may not have any potential humor, we will save a lot of energy and angst when we decide that we simply won’t accept them. personally. It is always helpful to remember that our children have their own lives and their own perceptions, and quite often their misbehavior is about them and what is happening to them. It only makes matters worse if we take it personally when our child is in a bad mood or going through a bit of a rebellious phase. All adolescents have moments of intense disgust for their parents. The wise parent will recognize this as an expression of adolescent frustration with authority in their lives and a movement to develop more independence. The same goes for a two year old. It’s the job of a two-year-old to say, “No!” When we take your challenge to authority personally, we are less able to deal with it effectively.

So stop taking everything so personally. It may not be that easy to do at the moment, but I guarantee that in the long run, it’s much more difficult if you stick with it. It takes energy and awareness to change the deep-seated reactions that most of us experience when we take situations personally and take ourselves too seriously. Such reactions damage our health and our relationship with our children. Use the heart breathing technique I described in my last newsletter to help you let go of the exhausting emotions that result from taking situations personally.

Teach yourself to let go and, whenever you can, choose to see the humor in the situation. The next time you have one of those moments where you think, “One day I’ll look back and laugh,” try to bring that day closer to you right now. Healthy humor exists on a level well removed from ego defensiveness. We can do a lot of good for ourselves and our family by getting past the frustration and turmoil of the moment to see the humor in the situation. And remember, you too can fly when you learn to take yourself more lightly.