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Marriage, Fights and Mind Reading – 3 Magic Solutions

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Does mind reading cause fights in your marriage? Find out how a young couple handled their first dispute. Then learn the 3 magic solutions to prevent both mind reading and fighting in your marriage.

children in marriage

Will, age 7, responded to this question: “Is it better to be married or single?”

“I get a headache thinking about those things. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble.” he answered.

If you’re a single parent, divorced, married, or wanting to get married, keep reading. This is for you.

Children don’t like to hear their parents fight. Fighting means trouble. If your marriage is full of problems, you can stop. Fighting is not good for your children. It’s not good for you. It’s also not good for your spouse.

Do you remember your first fight? It might give you a headache just thinking about it. Let’s see how a young couple dealt with their first dispute.

Marilyn and Jim’s first marriage argument

Our friends, Marilyn and Jim, are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. We met Marilyn when she and her husband were raising 3 teenagers.

We recently put in for lunch. I asked them, “What is the bond that holds you together?”

We got married right out of high school,” Marilyn said. “I thought, ‘If Jim really loves me, he’ll know what I’m thinking.'”

After their first fight, Marilyn made her way to the front steps and closed the door behind her. Pouting like a hurt child, she sat down and waited for Jim to apologize. She waited, and waited, and waited.

Marilyn didn’t know that Jim was inside watching a football game. When she finally got out, she told him, “Come in. It’s not Ozzie and Harriet (a popular TV show at the time). We need to talk.”

Marilyn learned to speak:

Marilyn became the official manager of my husband’s and my counseling practices; we make fun of her for her’hit list.’ They were customers who did not pay their bills. Combining tact and assertiveness, Marilyn was a master at making them pay. Of course, by then she already knew the 3 magic solutions.

First Magical Marriage Solution – Let Go of Mind Reading

Stop reading minds. You can guess but you can’t read anyone’s mind. Sometimes your guesses are off. Most of the time, they are wrong.

If you’re not good at reading minds, your partner isn’t either. Nobody is. Use your reason and stop reading minds. You will both be happy.

Second Magical Marriage Solution – Choose What to Say

think wisely Stop overheating your mind with self-pitying thoughts. Stop taking care of your wounded heart.

Choose specific words that your partner can accept. Make sure they are not hurtful or you will lose. Be kind and direct when choosing what to say.

Third Magical Marriage Solution – Speak and Do It Well

Speak clearly. Ask a direct question without accusing. Discuss a specific behavior and say how you felt. Tell your partner what you would like.

One more thing, don’t teach your spouse with words. Talking too much leads your listener to distraction. Very soon your partner will not listen to you. Speak up and do it right.

Magical Marriage Conclusion – The 3 Solutions to Avoid Mind Reading and Fights

Why are these 3 magical solutions? Like the art of magic, it takes time, patience, and practice to learn.

Next time, when you are tempted to fight, practice some magic. Stop reading minds. Use your reason. Choose what to say and speak.

You won’t be slamming doors. Your children will not fear that your marriage is in trouble. They won’t have headaches either. Best of all, you’ll solve problems and get more of what you want and need.

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