10 tips to create Gab’s gift for fun and profit

Yes! We all know them. Those disgusting people who can get into any situation and seem to fit right into the conversation. They seem to be at home with any group and can turn a group of strangers into friends in no time. In fact, they can do it in the time it takes you and me to eat a couple of delicious sandwiches, drink a glass of punch, and fade into the wallpaper.

I guess it’s one of those things you’re born with or raised to do.

Or is that it?

Like many things in life, being able to feel comfortable around strangers, converse on topics you know little about, and come out the other side with new friends or business contacts is a skill that can be learned. While being born with certain genes or raised a certain way can surely help, you can learn to work around those supposed limitations and might even end up being better at pulling it off than those who seem to have an advantage over you. .

While entire courses and training programs might promise to turn the most vapid wallflower into a flourishing conversationalist and bon vivant, here are a few tips to help you increase your “gift” of eloquence to the point where you, too, can join in. to the crowd. the corner and wittily lecture on the subject at hand…usually.

1. Start with who you are. Never pretend. If you are a gardener and the subject is rocket science, listen and learn. When the backyard crowd rolls in, there’s YOUR chance to shine. You’re just not going to be the center of attention, or even a small source of wit and wisdom in every conversation.

2. Listen and learn. Since we mentioned it earlier, let’s explore this a bit. First of all, you can often appear wiser than you are if you keep your mouth shut. While it’s closed, listen to that rocket scientist. Maybe the dry technical details are out of your head, but he can say something that makes sense to you and you can use the information in a conversation later. He can pique his interest in the topic, and what better source of reference than asking the expert speaker for his advice on how to learn more.

3. Be patient. We’ve already established that you don’t want to jump over your head and that you can still benefit from the speech. However, no matter how lofty the topic, any conversation can often veer off into more mundane topics, particularly if there are other people, like you, who know nothing about some highly technical subject.

4. Be curious. As mentioned above, asking a relevant question or even professing ignorance in the hope of enlightenment will spark sparks of familiarity with the speakers. More than once, I have seen various experts practically compete with each other in their attempts to simplify and communicate a difficult topic to someone who seemed genuinely interested. People like to have their egos stroked anyway, and giving them a chance to demonstrate their mastery of the subject, or ask their opinion, can really get the juices flowing. In the midst of all this, you learn more, make new friends, and feel more comfortable within the group.

5. Admit mistakes and ignorance, accept blame, laugh at yourself. One of the easiest ways to make others feel comfortable is to admit your own ignorance. When you start a statement or question by letting others know that you may not know what you’re talking about, they feel less “threatened” if that’s a good word. It is a tension switch in all directions when someone recognizes their ignorance or error. Most people are inclined to forgive those who can admit their mistakes or lack of knowledge. They will also feel more comfortable if you can laugh at yourself.

6. Have a sense of humor. While many topics are serious and don’t allow much room for humor, most people in a conversation are generally open to humor as long as it’s not derisive or of the trapezoid cop variety. Of course, if the group is just splitting up, then cut them off.

7. Educate yourself. The essence of feeling comfortable in a group is knowing that you are as knowledgeable as anyone else there. While you may feel this way at work, where you are among colleagues, it may be very different at a party or on a date where your counterpart may be from some other field or social group. Keeping up with the basics about current events in the fields of politics, economics, sports, science, health, and entertainment gives you footholds to stand out from the crowd in many places of conversation.

It also helps keep up with the latest popular books and movies. Even if you can only read or watch one, and that is NOT the one being discussed, at least you will have an idea of ​​what many other popular books (or movies or TV shows) of the day are about. , and will possibly be able to ask rational questions, giving those who ARE familiar with the subject a chance to shine.

8. Prepare. While education, as mentioned above, is a daily process and may not go very deep, preparation can go much deeper. There are two ways this can make you a conversational powerhouse.

** Become an expert in a particular subject or area. It could be a hobby, or you could just find something that interests you that might be of interest to others. For example, if you were an expert on gemstones, politics, ancient coins, rare books, health, or fitness, there will be opportunities for you to discourse wisely on your subject. If it’s a topic you’re passionate about, the depth of your feelings will often shape your presentation and delivery in a way that leaves an impression on your listeners.

** Study before the event if possible. If you are going to be among the investors, learn some investment terminology. If you have questions while reading that the books or tapes don’t seem to answer, save them. You may have the opportunity to ask a genuine (or supposed) expert.

9. Encourage others to speak. If Jane is commenting on a topic and seems to be getting to the end of it, encourage her to continue. She can simply say, “tell me more”, or she can ask a question as mentioned above. If Jane is standing in the crowd and you know she’s itching to say something, ask her something like, “Jane! Didn’t I hear you talk about that before?” Mind you, if you have no idea what Jane is thinking, shut up and leave her alone.

10. Tracking. If people are of interest to you, or if you want to learn more about the topics discussed, get names and numbers, order business cards, and bring some of your own. Call them later to tell them how much you enjoyed the conversation, invite them to join you for lunch or a cup of coffee, or send them a small gift that somehow ties in with the experience.

A few months ago, I attended a presentation by an editorialist from a local newspaper. In the process of his presentation, I realized that many of his points were similar to, but not the same as, points in a book I had enjoyed. I chatted with him after the presentation for only a couple of minutes, but managed to ask him if he had ever read the book. He admitted he wasn’t, but he seemed interested in it, even taking a moment to get a business card and write the title of the book and the author’s name.

Later when I was checking it out on Amazon I realized I could send him a copy for a few bucks and so I did. A few days later, he contacted me, thanking me for the book. He and I have communicated occasionally since then, and he has offered me encouragement and advice on my writing, and even suggested that he join a professional organization I didn’t even know existed.

One of the most important investments you can make in any “growth stock” is the quantity and quality of your personal and business contacts AND your friends. Life is much easier for those who have invested wisely and extensively in these. With a good list of friends and professional contacts, the next job is easier to find, the solution to the next problem is in your address book, the right contact is a phone call away, and life is a truly pleasant passage.