our children are precious

In our daily lives, we are bombarded with television, the written word, marketing, public relations, opinions, editorials, and everything else. More now that we are in an electoral frenzy, all the politicians are annoying us with their propaganda and their opinions. So it’s a rare moment when I find something that really “rocks” me or makes me think. While reading the Fort Lauderdale Sun Sentinel on Sunday, September 2, I came across an article titled, Looking for a family movie weekend by Ben Crandall.(1) He recounts his blog, and takes excerpts from Peter Hedges, in an interview with film writer Joe Leydon. Now, while that’s a mouthful, his comments are worth reading for all parents with teenagers. All expectant parents should read it, and all high schools should publish it, and all teachers should emphasize its importance. So why is it so important to me, because my wife and I lost a child to drugs by suicide? Because every life is so precious, because children find it hard to understand that “things happen” and that children and adolescents really die before their best moment. Because, from time to time, those things we read about, don’t always happen to someone else, someone we’ll never meet, but happen to someone we know or, worse, someone we love.

Parents at one point or another will get to a place where they want to do something as a family, whatever it is. Parents of teenagers have the added difficulty of dealing with their teenager who will not want to go with them. His friends are doing something, or they want to be alone, or something else is going on, or it’s just “leave me alone.” Most of us, instead of dealing with the aggravation, usually nod or try the alternative of arguing with your teen. For those of us who have been there, we know that he is not pretty or attractive. What it is, is aggravation times 10, with cursing, threatening, and yelling. It’s not something we all look forward to!

So, given that scenario, I’m going to copy, with attribution to the author, the article that I found so important.

But what I hope for parents as they watch the film is that they become more and more aware of the limited time we have with our children. I don’t think we can be told that enough: that they are growing up fast and that you only have children for a limited time. This was never clearer to me than when my wife was arguing with my oldest son. Look, he wanted to go away for the weekend with some friends. This was right before I jumped into this, to try to make this movie. (The odd life of Timothy Green) And she said, “Well, we’re leaving as a family.” And he said, “No, I want to be with my friends.” We didn’t know what to do, because this was the first time he was really being stubborn. He really he barricaded himself. Finally, Susan, my wife, took a piece of paper and wrote a zero and then a 90. And then between them, she put a 15 and then a 30. And then 45, 60 and 75. And then she said, “Simon, this is the time we hope you live.” But then she drew a line where there would be 18. And she said, “This is how long we have you.” And then she drew a line back to 15, which is how old she was. And she said, “This is the time we have left.” And my son, who is a boxer, who does yoga, who could crush all of us in this room except Joel. Nobody crushes Joel. But tears came to my son’s eyes. And he said, “Yes, Mom. I’ll go with you for the weekend.” So he wanted to make a film that would remind me and other people about the preciousness of time. And how little time we have left with our children. (two)

The end result is that we teach our children and understand for ourselves how important time is. We really don’t have as much time as we think and sometimes “bad things happen” and there’s not much we can do about it.

So, as my wife asks me, “will this help?” Will this article help people make a decision about whether or not to take their children? I really don’t know, but it will make thinking an important point of discussion. So when all is said and done, if he saves just one life, if he makes a young person “think”, he will have done his job.

1. Crandell, B. (September 2, 2012). Looking for a family movie this weekend? Watch ‘The Odd Life of Timothy Green’ Then Give His Son a Hug | The Go Guide | Sun Sentinel Blogs [Web log post]. Retrieved from http://weblogs.sun-sentinel.com/entertainment/thingstodo/2012/08/ looking_for_a_family_movie_thi.html

2. Joe Leydon (2012). A magical cinematic experience: The director of The Odd Life of Timothy Green touches on the time and emotions of parents. [ONLINE] Available at: http://houston.culturemap.com/newsdetail/08-15-12-a-magical-movie-experience-odd-life-of-timothy-green-director-touches-on-time-parents-emotions /. [Last Accessed 9/02/2012].